Where have all the smiles gone?

TMM,Wednesday 25 May 2011 

Sadly, courtesy is very much lacking in large sections of our society. How did we arrive at such a woeful situation? 

Could it be the case of bad leadership by example with shameless politicians leading the way? Have loud-mouthed champions done more harm than good to the very people they claim to represent? Are children of rude parents equally so? 

How do we account for our religious and often-touted Asian values when much of our behaviour leaves much to be desired? How can we be proud to be Malaysians amidst such degradation of society and desecration of environment? 

Those who claim superiority on religion, race, language, education or culture but display contempt for others lose credibility as it is our level of courtesy that truly reflects who we really are, not our heroics. 

Perhaps we are aware of the importance of courtesy but are nonchalant about it. After all, we pay scant regard to even life and death issues, such as the need for healthy diet and regular exercise. 

It is no surprise that the ongoing campaign to promote courtesy is hardly noticed, let alone effective. Compiling a long list of dos and don’ts would be a good start but knowledge alone would not necessarily translate into action. 

For centuries, people have access to religious books but there has been no change in human nature whereas science and technology have improved by leaps and bounds. Indoctrination may change people only at the superficial level. 

For real change to occur, people must first undergo proper training. As such, I propose full-day workshops on courtesy to be conducted nationwide to raise awareness and explore best practices with participants making individual pledges in front of the group on how they can lead and influence others to be more courteous in the workplace and society. 

The objective of such training is to condition participants to think and walk the talk on courtesy. The aim is for such core groups of courteous Malaysians to produce a rippling effect across our society and embrace courtesy as our way of life. 

The various trade associations should seek the support of their respective ministries or government agencies to organise such workshops, as courtesy would lead to higher productivity and profitability. 

Meanwhile, we can be courteous by greeting people we meet, offering strangers a smile and show our smiling eyes to our loved ones as courtesy begins at home. It should generate from within us. 

In order to love and respect others, we must first learn to do so to ourselves. 

In this way, we would always be courteous whether others are deserving or not, as the onus is on the giver, not the recipient. 

Great courtesy is to continue listening especially when we do not agree to what is being said. It is genuinely courteous to provide honest feedback, using both emotional and analytical intelligence to communicate effectively. 

It is also courteous to complete a job on schedule and getting work done as paid to do so. Our values are manifested by our outward display of courtesy. 

The reverse also applies as practising courtesy strengthens our character. 

Activists go out of their way to fight for what they believe to be noble causes. What we sorely need are courtesy activists who are genuine patriots and their exemplary behaviours would be welcomed by all quarters. 

Perhaps the greatest transformation we can achieve is to become a nation of courteous citizens. For this, we can try emulating the Japanese as they have recently shown that their courtesy is beyond superficial display. 

All of us should identify the various roles we can contribute in promoting courtesy and playing our part to improve the quality of life. We owe it to future generation and ourselves. 

YS Chan 

Kuala Lumpur