TS,Tuesday June 21, 2011
Many of us are born with certain talents. Some are aware of their natural attributes and others not. The aware may develop their talents and meet with varying degree of success.
The most well known are those in sports, entertainment, music, arts, literature and, of course, politics. Some of these huge talents may be dysfunctional in carrying out ordinary tasks.
An autistic can express extraordinary vision through breathtaking paintings although his other faculties may remain undeveloped.
We are told that our Intelligence Quotient (IQ) is determined more by nature than nurture. However, it matters little to our success and happiness in life.
We are probably on par with the rest of the world on IQ but our low Emotional Quotient (EQ), also known as Emotional Intelligence, will forever relegate us to a Third World country if no extra effort is made to raise it.
Let us start with interpersonal communication. When talking to others face to face, we ought to realise that we are not just using words but also expressing our feelings, sometimes unknowingly.
Many Malaysians take pride in being able to speak several languages and dialects, but are master of none. Our poor choice of words is due to our poor grasp of language.
As such, those who place overly importance on words, especially spoken, can become engaged in endless arguments and quarrels.
Greater importance should be accorded to what a person means or wants to say, and this is easier to detect by the tone of his voice.
However, it can be difficult if the words are spoken in measured tones, and polished speakers and confidence tricksters have effectively used such skills on the unsuspecting.
People can lie through their teeth but their posture and gesture will soon expose their true feelings.
The experts are unanimous that, during face-to-face communication, it is not what you say but how you say it. Even more important is how others see you.
Our EQ can be developed by becoming more aware of our roles and ourselves. Interacting well with others would require us to manage emotions and be wary of sentiments.
Those with high EQ show great courtesy and humility. They light up a room when they enter and continue to brighten up the lives of many people.
On the other hand, those who darken other people’s lives will continue to be work-in-progress as long as they choose to be negative. Few things or people are perfect, but they prefer to focus mainly on the bad.
As a result, they succeed in making others feel miserable, and their inflated egos prevent them from realising their own misery.
We may end up like that if we allow our ugly side to rule. It can easily happen when caught in the rat race and no time is spent on introspection.
We must learn to truly love and respect ourselves so that we can do the same for others. In this way, we will always be courteous to others, whether they deserve it or not, as we have our own standards to meet.
We must recognise the fact that no one can make us happy or angry if we do not allow it. If we can allow only the positive and the good and disallow the negative and the bad, we become truly powerful and beautiful.
We can achieve greatness by just being truly happy and making others happy. There is no better way than to show courtesy.
Among all virtues, courtesy is the most easily seen and immediately felt. Conversely, we lose all credibility without courtesy, however clever or right we claim to be.
Let us plant the seeds of courtesy in our hearts and help others to do the same. Support each other and work towards a more courteous society and better quality of life.
What our nation needs now are patriots who answer to the clarion call “Towards a courteous Malaysian culture” and rally many others to promote and show courtesy.
We can do with more courtesy activists. Their exemplary behaviour will certainly be welcomed by all quarters. They can make our nation great.
YS Chan
Kuala Lumpur
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